Stream of Consciousness
by Zelda12343
Summary: A collection of four Drabbles written together in September of this year.
1. An ode to landing parties

**Title:** An ode to landing parties  
**Summary:** A tribute to a typical structure of an away mission in The Original Series.  
**Character(s):** Chekov, OC  
**Pairings:** None  
**Genre(s):** Humor, Parody (of the affectionate sort)  
**Word Count:** 192  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings: **As with all my work, possible OOC-ness (in the eye of the beholder; I'm VERY picky about that sort of thing), involvement of an OC, offscreencruelty to Redshirts,

**Author's note: **_So I'm cleaning out my hard drive and publishing anything I've finished this year that I have yet to publish for whatever reason (typically a lack of confidence in my work, certainty my OCs are Sues and my writing of canon characters renders them painfully OOC, Etc.). At some point in September, during a bout of insomnia, I wrote four unrelated Drabbles. I'm publishing them as a collection rather than as four different works as I typically do because they were all written at the same time and are all of about the same quality. Enjoy!_

_This one honors the structure of many an episode (_The Apple _was one I was specifically thinking of, but there are more which use about the same thing). I've always wondered what some lesser crew members might've been thinking. Or if anyone in the crew noticed the repetition. _

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek does not belong to me, and likely never will.

* * *

"Please tell me this sort of thing isn't a regular occurrence," the young Ensign from the science department said weakly to Chekov.

She, Kirk, Chekov, Spock, and two security personnel had beamed down to a planet to investigate…some sort of disturbance was about all she could tell (probably some sort of freak of nature; that might explain her presence) Within minutes, the irate natives had found them and had proceeded to kill both security personnel, capture them, and steal their communicators, tricorders and phasers. At this point, they'd managed to break away from their former captors and were fighting for their lives. Apparently, the prime directive did not apply in this situation.

"Unfortunately, it is," Chekov replied as he punched another of the natives.  
"…why did I sign on this ship?"

"Don't worry. I don't think the captain will put you on another landing party anytime soon. He usually lets us recover awhile before assigning us on another."


	2. Anything but Kathleen

**Title:** Anything but Kathleen  
**Summary:** Semi-tag to _The Naked Time. _The sort of reaction Kevin Riley might have gotten to his singing soon after the fact.  
**Character(s):** Riley, unknown character (could be someone canon, could be an OC)  
**Pairings:** None  
**Genre(s):** Humor,  
**Word Count:** 64 (shortest I've ever written. Woot!)  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings: **As with all my work, possible OOC-ness

**Author's note: **_Of course I would have to include Kevin Riley at some point. He tends to sneak into a good deal of my work, so of course he managed to sneak into here. Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek does not belong to me, and likely never will.

* * *

"What do you MEAN, no one wants to hear it?" Kevin Riley cried.

"I mean exactly that. No one wants to hear 'I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen' right now."

"But I love to sing!" he protested.

"Well, sing something else then!"

_Why have I been getting such a rude response to that song lately?_ Riley wondered. Perhaps it had something to do with the debacle at Psi-2000, which _technically_ had not been his fault.

Oh well. At least he could sing SOMETHING.


	3. Pre-funerary march of a redshirt

**Title:** Pre-funerary March of a Redshirt  
**Summary:** A redshirt and another member of the crew of the U.S.S Enterprise talk shortly before they are assigned a landing party…  
**Character(s):** OCs  
**Pairings:** None  
**Genre(s):** Humor,  
**Word Count:** 82  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings: **Implied cruelty to Redshirts, what can be described as gallows humor

**Author's note: **_This one's my favorite, for some reason. I was just thinking that the crewmembers would HAVE to have caught on to the fact that wearing a red shirt (or in some cases just being in a landing party at all) would be a death sentence at some point…__  
_

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek does not belong to me, and likely never will.

* * *

"I can't believe I got assigned to the next landing party," groaned Random Crewmember 322. "Does the captain have it out for me or something?"

"The Captain doesn't have it out for you. He doesn't think like that," Random Crewmember 222 replied soothingly. "Besides, I've been assigned to the next landing party too."

"But-"

"Which of us is wearing red?"

"You."

"Right. Have fun at my funeral."


	4. The Strange-Hair Tango

**Title:** The Strange Hair Tango  
**Summary:** A possible explanation to Janice Rand's hair.  
**Character(s):** Janice Rand, OC  
**Pairings:** None  
**Genre(s):** Humor, Angst  
**Word Count:** 87  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings: **Possible OOC-ness

**Author's note: **_This one's funny, but it's also a little darker. It's the result of musing on my part that Janice Rand couldn't possibly have enjoyed her job too much. I mean, how fun would it be to be a captain's personal waitress, even if he's good-looking? Oh well. Just a thought. _

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek does not belong to me, and likely never will.

* * *

"Hey, why do you wear your hair like that anyway?" a younger Yeoman asked Janice Rand.

"I have to be known by something," she replied darkly. "Better this than the fact that I'm basically a glorified waitress."

"You're better than that!"

"Imagine how you'd feel if all you did was make the Captain coffee and bring other people their food. I signed up for Starfleet for action and adventure, not to be a freaking waitress!"

"And to wear strange hairstyles."

"…don't remind me."

* * *

**Author's note: **_AAAAND that's all, folks! Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support of me throughoutHHi year on FFN. I'm still writing thanks to you guys and your lovely words of encouragement. Happy New Year!_


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